I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
