your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
