Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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