So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize