she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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