Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Less talking, more tequila
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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