Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
