in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish they made helmets for livers.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He felt like a one man threesome
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
