Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
