My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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