sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
