it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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