yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
