Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
