I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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