Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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