i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
