weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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