i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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