Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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