Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize