we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
