do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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