so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
