It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
