You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
