why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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