Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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