If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
