Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize