He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
