I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Randomize
