I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
