well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
