We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It's never too late to be topless.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
