I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
