im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
where are you?
Hypothermia
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
