I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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