your room smells of hookers.
And success
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
