The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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