are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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