Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Girls should come with a carfax report
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
