i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
