she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
