U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
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