who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
