so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
