Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize