nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
