If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
