you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
