im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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