If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize