Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
