i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
