Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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