shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
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So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
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She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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