how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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