love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
